we grew pumpkins, people!

In case you've missed out on this week's installment of the Zucchini Wars: Forget Zombies, These Are Way Worse, we are losing. 

To quote Lieutenant General Chesty Puller of the United States Marine Corps, "They're on our left. They're on our right. They're in front of us. They're behind us. They can't get away this time!"

Loosely translated, THEY'RE TAKING OVER. 

But you didn't stop by to talk about zucchini. 

Again. 

Can we instead talk about the fact that there are pumpkins on my porch that have not been eaten by dogs? 

This may not seem like a blog worthy post to you, but I stopped putting up any outdoor decorations after year 1 of marriage. The Christmas wreath got chewed up. A bunting on the deck was -- I don't know -- eaten presumably? Corn husks were dragged across the yard and dismantled. Pumpkins were gnawed apart. You name it and our dogs attempted their best to destroy it. 

So there our deck sat -- alone and sad and decorationless -- until this year. 

Thanks to my father-in-law and a couple of gates, no dogs are anywhere on the deck. And they're certainly nowhere near the pumpkins -- or "poppins" as the toddler calls them -- we somehow managed to grow ourselves.  

 

My sister gave my farmer some pumpkin seeds from a massive pumpkin patch near her house -- the kind that sells season passes because there's so much to see and do there -- and they didn't disappoint. 

Not bad considering I weeded them about three times, watered them about the same, and then watched them take over the garden. 

Well, the part of the garden that wasn't being ransacked by guerilla zucchini plants taking no prisoners. 

 

We grabbed some corn stalks from the field, a handful of mums from the 'Marts, and called it a day. 

A good day, because have I mentioned? NONE OF THE DOGS ARE EATING MY DECORATIONS. 

Next question: What's the verdict on spraypainting zucchini orange and pretending they're decorative squash?

Asking for a . . . friend.

what I'm eating and listening to

In case anyone is wondering -- after the Great Zucchini Pandemic of 2017 -- yes, we are still harvesting that Energizer Bunny of all squashes. The stuff just will -- not -- stop. Thankfully, kind people are taking it off my hands, because you can only grate so many gallons of it, puree so much for baby food, and make so many loaves of zucchini bread before you have to move on with life.

If I were more Ma Ingalls and less myself, I'm sure I'd come up with a way to do something amazing with it that will save us from starving when the first blizzard hits this winter. But in the meantime, I'm banking on Aldi's low prices and fresh zucchini bread when I remember to thaw some of the grated stuff.

On the flip side, the lovely thing about NOT being Ma Ingalls is that I can listen to podcasts while my toddler calls her grandma on her fake Blackberry and the baby rolls to his tummy and then gets angry when he can't flip onto his back and I grate roughly six metric ton of zucchini.

In case you're in the mood for some listening variety, here are some favorites in our house:

• Issues, Etc. = Obviously. We're Lutheran. We love being Lutheran. We love learning Lutherany things. But Issues isn't just for Lutherans. It's for anyone seeking the truth in pretty much any realm: the media, politics, ethics, the home. I have some favorite guests, so on the days I'm feeling in a history mood or a liturgy mood or an "I'm sick of the media" mood, I pull up their name and go to town. (And yes, if you listen to Issues, we are the "Missouri dairy farmers love Issues, Etc." people whose cows are mooing in the background. Don't ask how I got them to moo. I actually looked both ways down the road to make sure the neighbors didn't see me trying to get the heifers to moo back.)
• Hillsdale Dialogues. From North Korea to the Paris Accord, from the Constitution to the Declaration of Independence, from C. S. Lewis's Abolition of Man to Aristotle on tyranny, it's all here. If you have a half hour and want to be challenged in your thinking, this is for you. These podcasts are funny, historically grounded, timely and always food for thought. 
• Your Morning Basket. I don't think it's a big shocker for anyone that we intend to homeschool our kiddos. And while that's a few years off yet, I'm starting now to read the books that make the case for doing so and listening to other veteran homeschoolers who have good suggestions on what to do and what not to as you begin teaching your children (what not to: get over-eager early on and try to do too much. what to do: read lots of good books with your kids and let them play. I'm in!). This podcast makes the case for time set aside each morning -- with all the kids -- to review or loop through a small group of hymns, poems, ideas, maps, etc. -- just enough books or journals to fit in a basket. This time allows all the kids to work together, regardless of age, to review a poem they're memorizing or a hymn they've working on singing before spreading out to start their day. Because it's based largely on memorization and building on what you know, the repetition not only gives some structure to your family's morning but also allows your kiddos to draw on what they've committed to memory throughout the year and beyond. 

 So if your garden is going gangbusters in the zucchini department, or if you're simply in the mood to listen to something new, if you're in the midst of baking these delish zucchini chocolate chip muffins (recipe courtesy of my sister-in-law) or if you're sitting on your deck soaking up the last of the summer heat, give one of those a listen.

Also, eat muffins. Or carbs of any kind really. Between history, theology, families and schedules, you can't go wrong.

Also also, chocolate chips.

Happy Labor Day!

   

holiday gift idea

Our garden didn't really do like we'd hoped this year. 

Also, I say that every year.

zucchini relish - ball canning

There was one day every summer, when my mom was canning pickles, that the entire kitchen would reek of vinegar. 

Some people might use the verb "smell." But not me. No, I would definitely say it "reeked." 

As in, do you remember the green fog of death in the Ten Commandments movie? That was basically the smell of vinegar in the kitchen. 

I would even go so far as to forego meals for 24 hours not to have to enter the kitchen and smell that smell. And I love to eat. 

Obviously this had an impact on me, since I'm reliving it 25 years later. I can let things go. For real. Just apparently not that. Not that smell!

So when our garden exploded with zucchini, and I realized in the midst of canning Summer Bounty Zucchini Relish from the All New Ball Book of Canning and Preserving that MY kitchen now smelled like vinegar, I had a little mom moment. It was like I'd finally arrived. Some day, my children, too, will hate the smell of a vinegary kitchen in the summertime. 

Sniffle. 

In the meantime, I burned a candle to counteract the smell (Hey, I never said I've grown to like it.) and made six times the size of a normal batch of relish and then stayed up until I heard the last jar lid ping.

(Is there a more beautiful sound? I say not.)

So, what have I learned during this smelly process? Don't let canning intimidate you. Find a way to use up that zucchini. Have tasty, homemade gifts to share with friends and family.

Oh. And wear a nose plug.

Summer Bounty Zucchini Relish

3 cups grated zucchini
1 1/2 cups diced red, orange and yellow bell peppers
1/2 cup grated onion
2 T. Ball Salt for Pickling and Preserving
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 cup white vinegar
2 tsp. celery seed
1 tsp. mustard seeds

Combine first 3 ingredients. Sprinkle with salt; cover with cold water. Let stand for 2 hours. Drain. Rinse. Drain again, pressing slightly to remove excess water.

Bring sugar and next 3 ingredients to a boil. Add drained veggies, and return to boil. Reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered 10 minutes.

Sadly hot relish into hot jar, leaving 1/2-inch headspace. Wipe jar rim. Center lid and apply band, adjusting to fingertip-tight. Place jar in boiling water bath, processing 10 minutes. Turn off heat. Remove lid, and let jars stand 5 minutes. Remove jars and cool.